Holiday Blues? Or Post-Holiday Slump.

Holiday Blues? Or Post-Holiday Slump

~Ideas and thoughts (some facts)~

One question we had as a mental health professionals are:

"Why are there a peak of clients in January and February? After Holiday it's really busy!!!!"

The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), mentions that the seasonal affective disorder (Seasonal Depression/Anxiety) happens during the Winter month (December, January, and February).

When natural light lessens, and there is also the Holidays, such as Christmas, New Years, Valentines day (I guess).

However... is that all there is to it?  There is definitely just more clients in general at the clinics.

I discussed with my colleagues about the Holidays and the stress people get and the stress we get.

1) Holiday Blues

On one side where people are feeling happy, joy, excited and loved.

On the other side of the coin, the contrast becomes more evident, of stress, sadness, anxiety, and loneliness.

Because of the environment is generally happy, those who are not becomes more obvious, right?

2) The Holiday Hypothesis- why stressed out in Holidays?

Holidays is a good pattern interruption to everyday life.  

Stressed that you need to do something different from usual.

Stressed that you are going to see friends and family that you don't see them so often.

Stressed that you need to prepare for a big event or be part of the preparation.

Stressed that you may have too much human interaction or none at all.

Stressed that you need to buy things.

And on top of this, you beat your body with cold weather, less natural light, lack of sleep, more work, less exercise, more food, and liquor or other crappy stuff.

No surprise that people feel stressed.  

However....

3) The USUAL Mind Trap.

Read the following: 

Excited that you need to do something different from usual.

Excited that you are going to see friends and family that you don't see them so often.

Excited that you need to prepare for a big event or be part of the preparation.

Excited that you may have too much human interaction or none at all.

Excited that you need to buy things.

Same sentence as above, why can't we make it different?

As excitement and anxiety are practically the same thing except what you expect of the future, and stress can be either eustress (good stress) or distress (bad stress);  Holidays are great time to feel either feelings, positive or negative.

And the choice is... who do you think?

Conclusion:

Holidays are event where emotions has the opportunity to go to an extreme, Excited or Distressed.

Unfortunately, people do not get enough support to get to the excitement, is my belief.

Because business gain good income during holidays.  Workers need to work harder and what if the workers love their company, what if they get bonuses at the end of holidays?

Because opportunities of saying thanks shows up.  What if you do say thanks not only to your family and friends, but even to others who helps your life and show gratitude?

Because it suppose to be day of showing, whispering, and feeling love. What if people do express love?

I hallucinate that probably we have less Holiday Blues and Post-Holiday Slumps.  What do you think?

Have a loving, happy, thankful, awesome HOLIDAY!

Travel Anxiety Analyzed

Travel Anxiety Analyzed

Have you ever heard of travel anxiety?

Have you ever had some fear, nervousness, anxiety, or worries around traveling or after the travel?

Apparently it's called "Travel Anxiety."

Want to know more?

YES, you came to the right blog. (I guess).

We will be covering 3 things!

1) What is Travel Anxiety! (seriously somebody give me none convoluted definition about this stuff that is somewhat intelligent please!)

2) Why do people get Travel Anxiety. (Called case conceptualization in professional terms).

3) What to do and How to resolve it. (How to is what many will not tell you, its the secret)

Reason why I am doing this blog post today is that I personally never heard of the term "Travel Anxiety" until recently, when I was asked to write some tips to resolve it.  So, I checked up.  There goes g**gle and Tallah! we have another random syndrome or compound of already existing disorders.

Why can't people just stop putting "cool name" and be honest and say "I hate traveling, I am scared to death!"?  Well, I guess the problem is that some people love to travel but their subconscious viciously go against it. 

Well, my personal story about anxiety provoking experience was during my first travel oversea, the summer break between 1st and 2nd grade.  My aunt, sister, and myself, went to Los Angeles, USA, and the first thing we see at the airport parking lot was two police men running after an African American man and holding him up against a wall with a gun.  Yes, great first impression.

However, did not build any anxiety around traveling, probably there is some aspect to not holding on anxiety until later.

So let's begin!

1) What is Travel Anxiety

I am worried about traveling.
YOU HAVE TRAVEL ANXIETY! DONE!
Well not quite.

In relation to traveling and traveling related activities such as packing, ordering tickets, flying, being on a ship, driving, going long distance, asking a boss for a vacation, the individual:

Emotionally Feels: Anxious, Nervous, Worried, Numb, Panic, Horrified, and Uncomfortable,  

Cognitively Thinks: I don't want to do this, Its cumbersome, I never want to do it, I don't need to, I can't, Traveling is dangerous, People die/get stolen/lost/kidnapped/mugged/injured "all the time traveling," I don't trust the airplane/traveling company/myself/my family, It cost a lot, It is waste of time, You don't get anything out of it, Best place on earth is home so I don't need to travel, etc.

Physically Respond: By not taking action, not packing, not planning, not dedicating work to others, increase in blood pressure, increase in stress hormone, shortness of breath, tiredness, and so forth.

The most important thing in addition to this is that these emotion, thoughts, physical responds seriously impairs your life, your relationship with others, activities, productivity at work, then it is a DISORDER.  If not then may be a challenge that you want to change.

2) Why do People get Travel Anxiety?

Being a good old psychologist I should be saying "there are many causes to it."

But lets make it simple.

Its either A) Really related to negative experience in the past related to traveling or B) manifestation of symptoms also in traveling related things.

A)  Its due to past negative experience and generalization of that experience to anything related to "Travel."
You had a bad taste in the past when you traveled,
Your friend got in an accident on a road trip or oversea,
You saw a plane, bus, train crash on TV news.

There are many fearful information related to traveling you hear all the time.

Just like anything else, there are more negative news than positive.

Its a body response based on information (no distinction of being right or wrong) and experience that is trying to protect you from harm real or imagined.

The danger is that the association can be made unknowingly in a subconscious level.  You may not remember the original reason why you did not like to travel.

Experience -> Negative Feeling -> Fear Thoughts -> Generalization -> Anxiety provoked by thinking or exposed to any similar events.

B) If you are anxious person to start with, you will be anxious to Traveling too.

Fear and Anxiety comes from the future unknown, which one suspects to be majorly negative.

Then, traveling which requires one to acquire new skills, possibly new language, learn new currency, and be in unfamiliar places.

The anxious mind will never chose a novel experience like Traveling. Unless one have normalized the process or traveling has been a familiar thing for that person.

3) What to Do and How to Resolve it.

a) "The Medication Strategy"*

Go to a psychiatrist, discuss about your anxiety and condition, make sure you say any addictive tendencies you have too (because there are medication that should not be provided if you have family history of addiction), probably you will be prescribed of an anti-anxiety medication (probably some benzodiazepine). THEN go and DO the REAL THING,

Probably, the only few times I do suggest psychotropic medication is for PHOBIA (intensive fear to a SPECIFIC event).  With the kick of the medication, you can have the experience of doing the fearful thing.  If you are going to go this route do it and do it ONLY ONCE!

So, how to do it only ONCE:

1) Go see a psychiatrist who actually do the analysis. If you want to go see clinical psychologist its better, probably will ask you to do the same thing.

2) Choose what is the most fearful Traveling Related Event is.

3) Take the medication.

4) Feel the effect and go through the event.

5) The brain gets the experience and overcomes the fear.

*Again this is a professional opinion and I will be not liable for any negative outcomes. Discuss with the psychiatrist please.

b) Without using medication.

Do the same thing.

for Step 3. use relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, positive self-talk, listening to music, and do it.

c) Use imagery techniques to reduce anxiety.

1) Close your eyes, 

2) Breathe Deeply

3) Drop your shoulders

4) Imagine a future anxiety provoking travel related experience.

5) Imagine going 3 minutes after a successful completion of that event.

d) GET Professional help or help from a friend or family who is willing to help you and is good at traveling.

Make it easy for yourself.  Accept areas you don't know or can't do and just do it.

1st travel could be done by a traveling agent.

e) Just go somewhere without plan and enjoy.

Don't create tight schedules and have fun.  You may have a different experience.

f) Use technologies like travel planning apps.

Tripit, TripAdvisor, TripCase, etc. are all good apps to organize your plan.

g) Just believe that you will have fun and focus on fun stuff.

Research shows vacation and traveling are one of the best ways to spend money as the positive feelings last longer than just buying materialistic things.  Apparently, for cars, home, dress, gadgets, the positive feelings goes away in about 3 months.

h) If everything else did not work, contact professionals like me or others. :)

ENJOY TRAVELING!

Learning about leadership in Crisis from a Retired Foreign Service Officer who was placed in China and Japan Part 2

Learning about leadership in Crisis from a Retired Foreign Service Officer who was placed in China and Japan Part 2

-The Biggest Question, Correct Mindset, and Tips to Make Good Decisions-

What is the biggest question that people have during crisis?

What mindset will help people to survive the crisis?

How can we make a better decision during crisis?


Are you curious about the answers to any of those questions?

You came to the right place!

Continuation from Part 1, I will summarizing the teaching of Mr. Robert S. Luke, a former Foreign Service Officer.

3. The Biggest Question During Crisis and How to Prepare for an Answer.

Answer: "What is going on (happening)?" and have a system or team to get the necessary information.
As you may have guessed correctly the no.1 question that people entering crisis asks is a question asking for clarity of the situation.  In many process, key to resolving problem is clarity of the condition.  Who, what, when, where, why, how?  These question must be clarified.  The issue is like in the case of Mr. Luke experiencing a major earthquake in Tokyo, Japan, the information may not be available.

The response to lack of clarity is usually, confusion, nervousness, anxiety, and then panic.  However, Mr. Luke stated that they were able to feel somewhat at ease because they had a "team" specifically in case of crisis their job was to collect information and take care of the situation.  Although, the "team" couldn't get enough clarity related to the earthquake (crisis) due to the restriction on the information by the Japanese government, the importance was that there was "someone" who was going to take care of that job.  As a result, others can focus on their actual job, not wasting their brain power on trying to answer the question, "what is going on?"

Lesson 3:

• Everyone's brain seek for clarity, have the answer ready or
• Have someone to do the work of collecting the information, or else you will go through a emotional storm and waste energy on things which may not matter.

4. Mindset that Helps During Crisis.

Answer: Be active, flexible, open, and cool/calm.

Mr. Luke's story capture the devastation and destruction of the crisis, but moreover he captured the professionalism, flexibility and the ability to enjoy at times during the crisis.   He referred to the U.S. military, especially the U.S. Marines, TEPCO "on site" workers, his team members, and the Japanese staff as "heroes."  Which I agree.  These were individuals, in spite of fear and the danger of their own lives, they lived for what they believed to be correct.

Each had a specific clear goals to achieve and these seemed to help the members.  For Mr. Luke it was to get the U.S. citizen out of the danger, and then to the next task.  Although, he stated he worried about his family, after getting the basic safety for his family he began acting on his mission.

One thing that stood out was that in spite of the horrible circumstances, those who were "professionals" found ways to have fun or to change their mindset, like the jokes of Wang Qishan. And Mr. Luke did not mention but from his story what was obvious was that everyone had a hope or positive outlook to the condition.  There seemed to be some faith and no doubt that things will turn-out fine if they do their best.

Which reminds me of another friend who worked for a finance company during the Lehman Shock.  His department had a deal where when they loses certain amount of money on stock, they needed to give a push-up.  As everyone was frantically picking up phones and responding to their customers or working on the computer, he comes in with a great smile, saying "guys we will have very soar arms" and began push ups.  Result?  He got a promotion soon after the crisis.

Lesson 4:

• Can you respond to the crisis with faith, calmness, openness, and be flexible, and not react with fear, anxiety, terror and be in panic. 
• Can you find a way to smile and laugh when it seems impossible?

5.Tips for Making Decisions During Crisis.

Answer: Ask for help, ask for clarity, get as much information as possible, collect information to be presentable to others, ask intelligently, and when everything fails, follow your heart/principle.

Following Mr. Luke's timeline during the crisis, he and his team mates and other world leaders follow the principles above.  The concept is simple yet people have difficulty doing the right thing.  The problem lies on lack of emotional control and being in "terror."  The danger of terror is that under such condition people's decision becomes relied on whoever that leads the crowd. YES, "WHOEVER", our brain stops thinking by itself to make decision and follow the leader regardless of how good they are (read more about Terror Management Theory: http://www.tmt.missouri.edu/ index.html).  Thus, lesson 4 of managing your emotion and making it positive becomes essential for correct decision making.

Another, interesting thing in from Mr. Luke's story is that we were able to listen to bad decisions of the leaders in crisis.  For example, he stated that U.S. Marines were slow at responding to the crisis and it was due to disorganization caused by lack of information.  In another instance, when the U.S. asked what help that Japan wanted one of the request was 6 million water bottles, which Mr. Luke stated that there must be a better place to get it and  not them.  This scenario relates to the Japanese Government side not asking the correct request to the correct people.  There are things that only the U.S. Department can do and they were not clear to what they wanted.

Another delay in decision for Japan was caused by department of economics and the department of defense were in conflict between who will be going to take care of Fukushima Nuclear Reactor.  This is caused by not having a prior plan and moreover the team is not working as a whole in this scenario.  The cost in crisis for delayed response is not just money, its people's life, houses, and trust.

Finally, I asked to Mr. Luke, how he made decision when information was not enough and he did not have enough time.  He replied that he followed his instinct of "what's right", such as although the radiation level was unknown in Tokyo (toxic or not), he ordered the expected mother staffs to leave the city.  The key is to return to what is most important to you, what the principle, morals, and ethics of yours.  End of the day, the radiation of Tokyo was not as toxic and over ordered iodine capsules at the U.S. embassy went waste.  However, it seemed that Mr. Luke had no regrets on his and his teams' decisions.

Lesson 5:

• Have the correct emotion in order to make the write decision. 
• Make sure you have information to make the decision.  
• Make sure what you want. 
• And when everything fails, or not enough, make a decision that you will not regret, which is based on your principle (what you believe).  
• Thus, make sure you know your own principle, morals, and ethics.

Final Thoughts

First of all I would like to thank Mr. Robert S. Luke for his talk and his time to share his experience, as not many people will ever experience being in a position to organize and make decision during a major crises.  There are probably more lessons that can be learned from his stories but these were what I was able to learn from his speech.

To Summarize:

Lesson 1: Respond correctly, make correct decision during crisis, you may or may not have a second chance.

Lesson 2: Do what seems out of norm to change the negative pattern in crisis.

Lesson 3: Put your effort on what needs to be done. Sometimes you will never know the truth.

Lesson 4: Be in a positive emotion in order for your fear not to hijack you.

Lesson 5: Be familiar with your own principles, morals, and ethics and follow those to make decision.

Thank you for reading, I'll see you again on the next post!

Learning about leadership in Crisis from a Retired Foreign Service Officer who was placed in China and Japan Part 1

Learning about Leadership in Crisis from a Foreign Service Officer who was in Midst of Crisis Part 1

-Cost and Tips to get out of Crisis-

Have you ever questioned what goes in mind of leaders during the crisis?

Do you think we can learn from such leaders and apply to our life?

Today, November 13, 2014 Thursday, I had an opportunity to listen to Mr. Robert S. Luke, a former Foreign Service Officer speak on the topic of "Perspectives on a career in the United States Foreign Service." He gave his story and experience related to working in Foreign Service during the Tianamen Square Massacre, Lehman Shock, and 2011 (March 11) Japan- Tohoku Earthquake and Tsunami. (Presented by: http://www.worldspeakerforum.org/).

This blog post will have part 1 and part 2.  You will be learning in relation to Mr. Luke's experience and from his observation of world leaders:

1. Cost of crisis.
2. What is needed to break the pattern in crisis.
3. The biggest question during crisis and how to prepare for an answer.
4. Mindset that helps during crisis.
5. Tips for making decision during crisis.

1. Cost of Crisis.

Answer: Other than the obvious (money, life, time, relationships, etc.), you may lose a big opportunity for a win and need to wait for a while.

Before beginning I need to say that the speech was not presented in this order as he spoke about Japan first and then China.  The obvious cost of crisis for Japan after the Earthquake and Tsunami in 2011 are devastation, destruction, and death, which are the same for Tianamen Square Massacre 1989 in incident.  However, since there are some times elapsed from the Tianamen Square incident in China, Mr. Luke mentioned something interesting as to the impact of Tianamen Square on China and the U.S.A. relations.

Prior to the incident the United States was on a project to negotiate China to be in the World Trade Organization (WTO).  There are many things to be said about the impact of China entering the WTO for both the U.S. and China, (see reference 1), and the major point of take home for me was that they were working way before 1989 and when one of a major crisis, Tianamen Square Incident happened the idea was postponed until 12 years later in 2001.

It is probably not all just because of joining the WTO, and it is true that joining had a major circumstances to how China exploded in its growth since 2001.  The question is what is it happened 12 years earlier?

In similar instance, in March 11, 2011, Japanese government and TEPCO (Tokyo Electric Power Company; who was responsibly for the nuclear reactor exploding), had a chance to prevent the explosion, yet resulted in a disaster.

Lesson 1:

• Wrong decision to a reaction towards crisis will cost you a lot of damage. 

• And sometimes you do get a second chance like in case of China and sometimes not like in case of TEPCO (Japan). 

• Is this true in our life too?

2. What is Needed to Break the Pattern in Crisis.

Answer: Simply do what is out of expectation or what should be done but many don't do.

Mr. Luke next introduced a gentleman, called Wang Qishan, who is a senior leader of the communist party in China. There is something interesting about this man, not only the fact that he is the only man in the committee wearing a "blue" tie rather than "red."  

When sector Hank Paulson needed to make a deal about cleaner environment with China in the middle of the financial crisis caused by the Lehman Brother's bankruptcy in 2008, the conversation was not on the same page between China and the U.S.

And in crisis one thing that needs to happen is communication and teamwork.  When either one was not happening, Wang Qishan breaks a joke to re-establish the relationship with Sec. Paulson.  This leads to the creation of his institution of sustainable economic growth and cleaner environment.

This reminded me where basically a friendly conversation between Ronald Reagan and Mikhail Gorbachev ended the Cold War.  Which is surprising because two men who are supposed to be enemies to each other, overcome the expectation of others, and become friends to end the crisis.

Lesson 2:

• Can you be friends with an enemy or throw a joke when people are least expecting?
• And put effort to build human relationship in middle of a crisis?  
• If yes, then you are more likely to resolve your crisis, as someone once said that majority of human problems are caused by communication error between people. 

(To be continued to part 2)

Reference:

1. Filippetti, A. (May 11, 2012).  10 Years After: Taking Stock of China's WHO Membership. https://www.opendemocracy.net/openeconomy/andrea-filippetti-stefania-innocenti/10-years-after-taking-stock-of-china%E2%80%99s-wto-membersh

Burnouts

Burnouts

Is one of your crisis being a burnout of your own or others?
Or have you ever heard of a burnout and maybe want to prepare for it in case it happens to you or other?
If, yes then I have some tips:

The cause of a burnout?

• Excessive and prolonged stress causing exhaustion, emotionally, mentally, and physically.
• Burnout is an extension of stressed condition.
• Main cause comes from constant demands from the environment and feeling overwhelmed by not being able to meet such demands.

At Work:

• Lack of control in work, lack of recognition or rewards at work, unclear and demanding work environment, unchallenging work, and highly chaotic and pressured work environment.

In Lifestyle:

• Not giving self a time to relax and socialize.
• Highly expected to do and be someone by others and lack dedication of work.
• Not enough help.
• Not enough sleep.
• Lack of support system.

Personality causes:

• Perfectionist
• Pessimistic
•  “I can do all by myself” or “No one can do better than me” tendencies.
• Control freak
• Type A personality

How to avoid it?

• Realize the sign by the lack of motivation and reduction in interest.
• Realize that minor feeling of boredom, overload, and feeling of unappreciated leads to the burnout.
• Recognize signs of a burnout which are:
• Caring less of life, work, and home.
• Feels that every single day is a bad day or feels sad or angry all the time.
• Physically exhausted all the time.
• Find yourself doing task that you doubt if you need to do it or it is dull.
• And you say “nothing will change,” “nothing will make a difference,” and you feel not heard and appreciated.
• Recover the damage by managing stress and seeking support.
• Create a context (environment) that is supportive, start with friends, family, and team mates.
• Build resilience towards stress by taking care of one’s mental, physical, and emotional health.

Prevention strategies:

• Have a relaxing ritual daily, such as morning exercise, meditation, breathing exercise, gratitude list which takes 2 to 15 minutes.
• Strategies to have healthy eating, exercise and sleeping habits.
• Learn how to say “NO” and set boundaries.
• Take a break from technologies (i.e., cellphones, ipads, laptops, etc.)- individuals are too connected to negative messages.
• Be creative and do things that taps into the creative part of the brain to keep motivation high.
• Learn stress management so it never turns into burnout.

What needs to be done to get over it?

• ONCE you have passed the point of BURNOUT
• Take a “pause” to slow down and to really solve the problem.
• Open up to friends and get support.  Simple sharing of feeling to others will reduce the stress. (Based on research).
• Revisit your goals and priorities.  Individual needs to refocus on the ultimate goals in life and make decision accordingly.
• CUT the loss short! Individuals usually have lost some in the process of burnout and feels they need to keep going in order to resolve the issue or have difficulty to discontinue.  However, the true choice may be cutting the loss short.

MORE SPECIFIC STRATEGIES:

• Actively tackle the problem by reporting to the supervisor or the individual who is causing the problem.
• Clarify your expectation or job descriptions to understand you own duties and responsibilities and do those first and do not take other task.
• Ask for new assignments or duties for a change.
• Take a vacation!