How to choose a good therapist /counselor/ psychologist/ mental health practitioner -Myth about Therapist-

Myth About Therapist

"How do I find a therapist like you?"

I actually got this question couple of times in my life as a practitioner and as ego stroking as it is (thank you for those who believes that I am outstanding), I really did not know the answer.

The actual question is:

"How do I find a good therapist?"

I wanted to know this too.  Because I wanted to be an outstanding therapist.

Thus, good amount of time, my graduate school research was about competence of the therapist.

Let me share you what I found.

Beginning with some myth about "Good Therapist"

*Following information is based on Dr. Scott D Miller's research (refer: http://www.scottdmiller.com/).

MYTH 1) A Therapist with a Higher Degree is Better.

I think many doctorate degree therapist will hate me for saying this, yet the research shows there is not much of a difference between those who are at doctor level, master level, and bachelor level.

This is because the first step of therapy requires real human interaction and communication.  Ability to build good human relationship does not reflect on the degree the person has.  The difficulty of mental health therapist to an medical doctors is that we need to not only get written consent to treatment but we need emotional and psychological consent from our clients/patients.  We need our clients to know us, like us, and trust us at a high level.

SO: Choose a person you can fully trust, 98% of building that relationship is the therapist's responsibility.

MYTH 2) A Therapist with More Experience is Better.

More Experience = Better Right?  WRONG!!!  More Practice = Better.  Think about it, we cannot correct our self when we are giving the actual therapy.  Imagine practicing basketball or piano, when you make a mistake you go back and practice until you be "perfect."  When do you think therapist does that?  "After graduate school when friends and your mentor bust your, you know what (if then), I don't know."

Another point:  Which do you think is better?  A Newly Graduated Therapist OR A Therapist Who Have YEARS of Experience?

Correct answer is, "A NEWLY GRADUATED THERAPIST" because they know the most CUTTING EDGE TECHNOLOGY and TECHNIQUES.

Of course, if you can confirm that the experienced therapist has been humble and has been keeping updating his/her knowledge and skills then they're better.  Good luck finding such people (like seriously).

MYTH 3) A Therapist who has Experienced What I am Going Through Before is Better.

Like Recovering Addict treating Substance/ Other Addicts, Like Ex-Depressed Person Treating Depressed, Parent treating parent, like Domestic Violence victim treating another DV victim.

WHO SAID THEY OVERCAME THEIR PROBLEM? OR APPLY WHAT THEY KNOW TO THEIR LIFE?

Have you ever seen a sales person not wearing, having, riding, etc. their own product?
SAME DEAL.

It is important to find a therapist that HAS WHAT YOU WANT.

What do I mean?  I mean if you want to be HAPPY then the therapist should look that they are HAPPY regardless of their experience.

The ability to care for you does not necessary come from that they also experienced the same thing.  More worst is when that person had that problem and resolved it effortlessly and does not know how but believe its easy to resolve.

They will have an attitude like "Why can't you just let it go?" "Why can't you resolve it, its so easy?"
It may be true but if they don't really know how, then I will bet you that you will be annoyed.

MYTH 4) A Good Therapist will Make Me Feel Good INSTANTANEOUSLY

Yeah... what you think a quick fix end up like?  Like Duct Tape on a toilet pipe, yes it does its job for now but is that your true goal? To have the same problem over and over and over and over again?

A Good Therapist will be upfront with you, that treatment will take time to truly be effective.  Specifically, in shortest 4, average 8, at maximum 26 sessions.  After 26 sessions there is some effect but other then maintenance or prevention of the problem it has not much of an effect.

Well, either way as effect size goes (how effective the treatment is to the symptoms), we do a better job then over the counter headache medicine or tooth pastes.  Long term for mild to moderate symptoms better and cheaper than medications.

MYTH 5) A Therapist Who Use a Particular Method is Better than Another

 According to the American Psychological Association official report, IF the therapy/treatment is STRUCTURED there is not much difference among "style" (methods).  Just choose what you like.  By the way if you're not sure about the styles, I'm not going to say "google it" rather I would suggest to check if the therapist can explain you the clear plan.  They "should" have one, if not, you know what to do. (However, give them at least 3 session to conceptualize and create the plan, by then your job is to give as much information to the therapist and check if you get the "bond" with them).